My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
