No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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