You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
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