He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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