I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
