my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize