What did we do last night that was yellow?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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