That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
