Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
