I hope mine doesn't look like that
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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