Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
