At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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