oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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