I can tuck mytits in my pants
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
