Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
