We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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