were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
