I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
