So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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