i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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