I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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