She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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