Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
She bit a glass in half.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
