In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
