I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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