Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
