Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
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