mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
