I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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