i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
