so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
