When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Just pee around me
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
