Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
