like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
