Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
The feeling are messing with the penis
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
