hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
