Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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