You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
