why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Is Oprah even human
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
