he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
