so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
