Don't you send me to vm
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
