that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
