i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
