I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
In America we eat man semen.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
