I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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