Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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