that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
