I molested 6 butterflies tonight
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
