My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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