Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
