What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
